Monday, February 18, 2008

Government Cheese

So being that Marshall goes to school full time and we don't make a ton of $$ between our two jobs, the government has provided our household with cheese, milk, eggs, peanut butter and a few other random things for the last few years. Yes, we are recipients of government cheese :) Chandler and I are on the WIC program (Women Infant Toddler) which provides nutrition education & good foods for pregnant & nursing women as well as children up to the age of 5. I assume we will be done with the program in a couple months as Marshall graduates and gets a job.
Anyways, we went to the store the other night to get use a check as we needed milk & eggs. I ran in really quickly while Marshall stayed out in the car with the kids. I got everything quickly and then stood in line for about 10 minutes. I think I chose the wrong checkout. With WIC you have a folder with your signature on it so they can compare it when you sign the voucher check for the food. It was my turn to be checked out and the cashier asked to see my folder. I thought it was weird that he asked to see it before I even started checking out. He proceeded to stare at it and this is how the conversation went:

"How do you pronounce your last name?"


"Wow, that's a really weird last name"

Thanks a lot I'm thinking, I've heard last names more weird...whatever, just get me checked out. He hands the folder back and proceeds to start checking me out. Halfway through he notices a notice that all cashiers are supposed to read on his register. He reads it and says,

"Does this mean anything to you?"

No, I think - WHY on earth would it?

Me answering politely, "No...."

He then reaches for the eggs and opens them up, which I have already done and which most consumers will do before buying eggs.

"It looks like none of the eggs are broken."

Whoopdeedoo...I know...

Finally, about 3-4 minutes later, after he's scanned all 5 of my items he gives me the check to sign. I sign it and he compares signatures.

"These signatures don't match...."

Are you kidding me???

"There is a small space between the d and the k in the signature on the WIC folder. You didn't sign it with a small space there."

By now I am starting to get really irritated.

"Did you want to see ID - because I have it..."

"No, I guess I believe you, but you really should have your signature changed to how you really sign it next time you go to an appointment."

Whatever.....I took my items and ran for it. I will remember this checker and be sure he NEVER checks me out again.

I head outside and expect to see Marshall waiting in the car. I don't see him anywhere and start wandering around the parking lot. After about 3 minutes, I finally see him doing figure 8's in the back of the parking lot. I figure Rowan is crying and he's driving around to get him to stop crying. I'm starting to get really cold as all I have on is a light hoodie and no coat. I start walking towards the back of the parking lot - Marsh doesn't see me and turns away from where I am walking. I start running after the back of the car, figuring he will see me in the rear view mirror. This goes on for another few minutes and I'm sure people in the parking lot think I'm crazy. He finally pulls into a parking spot and I come up behind him when I realize he is backing up and he's going to back over me. I back up quickly and avoid being killed by my own husband. The woman hormones start to get me and I'm about in tears. I go up to the front of the parking lot, and he sees me a minute later. As soon as I opened the door I burst into tears because I am so cold and frustrated at having to chase him around the parking lot. A 5 minute trip into the grocery store to get milk and eggs turns bad.....35 minutes later.
I officially hate grocery shopping.....sigh....


S. Fantasia said...

Urgh! Don't you love WIC? I think I had that same guy one time. The guy we had also said my signatures didn't match because I dotted my "I" differently in one (the rest was EXACTLY the same). You are more polite than me. I said something like, "Wow, I must be an exceptional identity thief since every other letter in the signature matches so perfectly. It sure is a good thing that Broulim's hires members of the fraud police to work at the registers!" Little punk. The same guy also surveyed my cheese selection as if I didn't know what I was doing and told me that cheddar really is more healthy than mozzerella so we should get that instead. Whatever, idiot, maybe I had a recipe that needed cheddar! How obnoxious. Why would anyone ever want to steal anyone else's WIC checks? The cashiers make it such a pain in the butt, I cannot imagine actually dealing with it if I didn't need it. You'll miss the free cheese and milk when it's gone though (I forgot how expensive they are until I had to start paying again). :o)

The Bluths said...

I sure miss WIC, that cashier sounded like an idiot! And chasing cars in the cold doesn't sound like any fun either. What a night!

amanda said...

that was a great story! lol~ i totally understand. my s in reynolds turns out weird when i sign fast and it isn' the same on the folder.. they have had me redo it before.

Tara said...

I totally know the guy you are talking about! He is so weird! Just let me get my groceries and get out of here! I don't come to the grocery store to socialize, believe it or not. Too funny!

Laura Howe said...

You tell stories very well. I am sorry to be laughing at your pain, but you just told it so well.